Writing Your Elevator Pitch

Posted on | March 4, 2010 | 4 Comments

The concept of the elevator pitch is simple enough. Communicate what you do in a very concise and powerful message in twenty seconds — roughly the time you’d have if you managed to corral a decision-maker into an elevator.

The basic philosophy applies very well to written content as well. Less is more. Get to the point in the first line because if you don’t grab your audience’s attention instantly, they’re clicking on to the next website.

I heard a number of excellent elevator pitches this morning while attending a High Output Business Networking session at Buzz Coffee in downtown Vancouver early this morning. But the best one was delivered by Craig, the founder of Under the Piano, as he introduced himself to the group of business owners and professionals. Going from memory, I believe it went like this:

Hello, I’m Craig and my company is Under the Piano. I provide a unique form of relaxation… I play a grand piano and my customers lie under it while the music is playing for about 45 minutes. They feel the vibrations of the music go through their bodies as they listen to a unique composition that I’ve created just for them. It’s very relaxing. Most of my clients lately are couples and as you know, the spring wedding season is coming up soon, so if you or friends would like to experience something very unique, I recommend that you call me at Under the Piano to schedule a session.

Just as Craig finished, a colleague stood up and delivered a fantastic testimonial for his service, emphasizing that it was an unforgettable, romantic and positive experience. I could tell from the reaction of the other attendees that Craig was going to get a lot of direct and referral business from this one event.

It wasn’t just Craig’s fine delivery or the testimonial that made the attendees lap up his presentation. The words themselves were important. They could translate with very little adaptation onto a web page.

You’ve got a concise description of what Under the Piano does: “I play a grand piano and my customers lie under it while the music is playing for about 45 minutes.”

The value proposition: “They feel the vibrations of the music go through their bodies as they listen to a unique composition that I’ve created just for them. It’s very relaxing.”

A definition of the target market: “Most of my clients lately are couples and as you know, the spring wedding season is coming up soon…”

The call to action: “If you or friends would like to experience something very unique, I recommend that you call me at Under the Piano to schedule a session.”

Brilliant. My hat’s off to Craig.

Craig had to leave before I got a chance to meet him, but I did get to talk with many excellent entrepreneurs who offer a wide range of services. Hat tip to the following local business owners and experts:

* Bonnie Sainsbury, Duet Media. Bonnie brings creativity, new imaginative concepts and the most effective best practices in the social media world right to your door.

* Des Dougan, Dougan Consulting Group Inc. An affordable solution for planning, supporting and implementing information technology to meet your business needs.

* Jamie Graham, Vertical Grain Design. Vancouver-based web design and programming.

* Jen DeTracey, Lift Strategies. Assisting organizations in becoming more distinctive and more profitable through strategic marketing.

* Julien Fontbonne, Virtually Canadian. Providing guaranteed search engine results or your money back.

* Kerry Plowman, WestCoast Internet Marketing. Build your future with lead generation strategies.

* Lara Hildebrandt, Quadrus. Lara works with individuals and businesses to build the financial security plan that best fits their needs.

* Michael Koro, Financial Design Group. Insurance and investment planning.

Business Networking Done Right?

Category: Marketing strategy, Vancouver, Vancouver company, Vancouver copywriter, business website copywriting, copywriting tip, website content
Tags: elevator pitch copywriter > Vancouver business copywriter > Vancouver copywriting tips > Vancouver website content copywriter > Vancouver website content developer

Comments

4 Responses to “Writing Your Elevator Pitch”

Craig Addy
March 4th, 2010 @ 3:34 pm

Hello Jonathan,

Imagine my surprise to find myself so prominently featured in your blog post. It’s a great post, but then I am the last person to be objective given much of it’s content : )

You are so right about what you were seeing at HOBN and the value of this networking organization. I’ve done a good deal of networking over the years, including 5 years in BNI. Overall, it has all been valuable to me – but HOBN stands hands above the others as my all time favourite networking strategy.

I’m sorry we did not have a time to chat after. We will for sure in the near future.

Thank you for the Kids In The Hall Networking Video. Hilarious.

Craig Addy
Under the Piano
Julien Fontbonne
March 4th, 2010 @ 4:56 pm

Hi Jonathon!
Thanks for talking about me in this blog post. Just a little rectification: the name of my company is Virtually Canadian.
As the fresh foreign member of the group, I still have some difficulties using the right word at the right time.
Either way, it could be great if you join us in HOBN. I enjoy HOBN events, meeting new people, giving and receiving referrals for business opportunities.
I’m always trying to change my presentation, making it different each time in the words and in the form.
Is this a good thing for an Elevator Pitch?
Jonathon Narvey
March 4th, 2010 @ 5:18 pm

Hey Julien,

I’ve changed up your company name in the post. Thanks for the note.

I had a great time at HOBN and I expect I’ll be joining the group in future as well.

As regards the content of your one-minute presentation at the start of each HOBN session, I would recommend that you start out with a standard elevator pitch so that guests or members who haven’t shown up in a while get the idea right away about what you do. For the last 30-40 seconds, say something unique so that the regular members always pay attention to your latest requests re: sourcing.

Of course, it was only my first HOBN event, so I’m not an expert. But that would seem to be a good routine. I know that the few presenters who commented only on, say, the great mood of the city during the Olympics, left me feeling confused.

More generally, you should always have an elevator pitch that you can confidently share as soon as anyone asks “What exactly do you do?” You may need to alter it slightly for your audience, but it’s always good to be prepared with some stock phrases that show you know exactly what you’re doing.
Bonnie Sainsbury
March 4th, 2010 @ 6:46 pm

Hi Johnathan

Nice to meet you today. I’ll remember your breakdown of the four areas I should concentrate on for my next elevator speech.

I agree that Craig Addy did a great job today with his introduction.