But why is it so darn complicated, anyway? Aren’t we learning how to communicate — really communicate — from a very young age? you’d think that with such a head start, by the age of 16 we’d all be able to write marketing brochures, novels and White House speeches. What’s the problem? Are we all learning to write badly?

It all starts off so darn promising. When we are children, we are taught to write simple sentences with simple words that tell a simple story.

• “See Dick run.”
• “Jane laughs.”
• “See Jane laugh.”

Boy, that stuff was boring. Still, it at least gave us a flavor for basic grammar. OK, every sentence has a subject and a verb. Got it. I can see where we’re going from here. Throw me an adjective, yo! I can handle it!

When we have matured a little, our vocabulary starts growing by leaps and bounds. Unfortunately, our ability to make up interesting stories doesn’t quite keep up. That’s why all the stories you wrote in grades three to six were lame.

Maybe you had great words, but it was hard enough coming up with a beginning, middle and end — much less ensuring adequate dramatic tension between the neighborhood cat and the bank robber with scary red eyes who for some strange reason was stealing your goldfish before escaping to the country of Ghana that you learned about in social studies that week.

That’s OK, though. You could always learn how to write well later.

High school comes on fast. Now you are writing essays. Your teacher is being pretty strict about word count. But that’s not so terrible: as long as you plug in 400 words on to two sheets of paper following the classic form of a paragraph, you get a “B”. Toss in an argument — really, any argument, it doesn’t have to be particularly convincing, so long as you can illustrate it with three randomly chosen examples selected from the assigned text you only partly read (Mind, you did have a great excuse for not reading the whole thing: It was written by Jane Austen).

That’s where the problem really starts and often enough, where most people’s ability to write ends.

They understand the form of communication. They just don’t write very convincingly. Often, it’s because the young writers don’t do their research (I was particularly lazy in that regard in my youth). Worse is when they knock themselves out doing their research but struggle to offer a compelling argument.

It just seems to me that more teachers need to make being convincing part of the assignment.

“You want to pass this class?” the teacher would say. “Convince me of something. Don’t just say something and give three examples of why you’re right. Really convince me. Persuade me. Change my mind about something. Make me want to buy what you’re selling — not by bamboozling me, but by showing me with total confidence that you know what you’re talking about. That’s it. That’s all you have to do.”

That might work.

Between standing most of every workday and keeping up my exercise routine, I feel healthier than I’ve been in a long time. I’m also more focused at work. No more twitching, fidgeting, stretching in my chair as I pound out my web copy and sales letters for clients. I’m all business, all the time. Productivity’s shot up.

I can say that a year later, I’m even more sure than ever that desk-bound creative types need to liberate themselves from the hell of sitting down for eight hours a day. My Jimmy Legs are not quite cured, but I’m doing a lot better. I can comfortably sit through a lengthy presentation or an entire movie without feeling an unbearable urge to get up and walk around. And as an added bonus, my legs have actually gained a bit of muscle mass, so I don’t look like a normal-sized guy walking around on hairy chopsticks in the summer.

I’d actually like to take it to the next level. This $160 treadmill desk seems like just the thing for keeping up my good habits and possibly getting rid of the gut I’ve developed recently from indulging in too much ice cream.

But enough about me. This is about you. Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired from being stuck at your desk all day? Stand up for yourself!

1. heatherlloyd: Taking time to put yourself in your target audience’s shoes helps you create copy that’s more targeted and less mechanical

2. charismatickid: If you read your copy out loud and you hear the same keyphrases over and over, it’s time to edit.

3. healymonster: Copywriting tip: Write like you talk. People get sucked into copy that’s easy to read.

4. CopywriterTO: #Copywriting tip: Get your readers’ attention by starting your copy with a compelling story.

5. Mainecopywriter: Copy Tip: Only 10% of your copy gets read. Use subheads to capture attention and draw the reader into the copy.

6. Cbreecopy: Tip: Shorter is not always better. Longer titles are more descriptive and provide better SEO.

7. caseyfleming: #Copywriting tip: Talk about your customers 90% of the time and your company only 10% of the time.

See the full list here. Thanks, Eric!

That’s pretty much what I try to do.

I’m presenting on this topic at the Lower Mainland’s Better Business Bureau’s Seminar Series in downtown Vancouver on Thursday, February 17. Hope to see you there! Here’s a quick synopsis:

How does your company get the word out? From websites and blogs to newsletters, brochures, direct mail sales letters, case studies, white papers and press releases, you’ve got plenty of tools. But different tools are used for different purposes. Learn how to use them to reach different target audiences effectively.

UPDATE: The event now appears to be sold out! Thanks to those who registered. For those who couldn’t make it, I’ll let you know when a new seminar is on the way. Of course, if you’d prefer some one-on-one business communications consulting, feel free to contact me directly

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

A sad, sad note from the meanest parents in the world to their newly-engaged daughter:

Dear Katie,

You are beautiful now. We are sure you will be a beautiful bride.

To help insure our wedding dress investment, please buy some scales of your chosing with this money and weigh yourself once a week. We love you and want you to enjoy your wedding day. This present might help with some of the stress.

With love,

Mom & Dad